The Crabby Cook - by Jessica Harper

My friend Amy had introduced me to Kee’s chocolates in Soho, and during a recent visit to NYC I took my daughter there. I felt it was my parental duty; all children should be exposed to the wonder of Kee’s. Maybe higher on the list than the Statue of Liberty. Certainly above The Lion King.

In the tiny shop was a person who has now assumed a place in our personal history: The Man In The Orange T-shirt, our sweet tooth superhero. Within five minutes of our entry, he’d laid out for us a list of  the essential sugar-craver’s hot spots in NYC, starting, of course with Kee’s, which he said was the best chocolate in the world. (“Not in New York, in the world!”) Having thus established his credibility, he went on to direct us to the best ice cream (Sundaes and Cones), cupcakes (Butter Lane), and cake (Lady M). Read More

I heard recently that the secret to perfect chocolate chip cookies is to allow the dough to rest for 36 hours before you bake.

This is swell in theory, but in reality it’s quite impossible. For crabby cooks, making anything in advance is challenging; we usually cook on an as-needed-right-now basis.

There’s also the fact that I make C.C.C.’s when I’m in emergency mode, when I need them immediately, not in three days. I need them when the kids are having friends over, and you don’t get three days notice on such occasions. You’re lucky if you get three minutes. The house fills, quite suddenly, with hungry teenagers and in a rush of good will, you agree to make them cookies. Before you have time to say, “What was I thinking?” you’ve got out the flour and the butter. A half an hour later, you’ve got happy teens and a great-smelling house. Read More

So I heard on the news that the animal rights group PETA came up with the stunning idea of creating a line of tofu flavored with George Clooney’s sweat. I know, OMG, right? Who wouldn’t buy that?

Apparently someone at PETA got their hands on a gym towel soaked in Clooney’s persperation and, bang, the idea for CloFu was born. So far, Clooney doesn’t seem too excited about CloFu. (He’s reported to have said, “As a mammal, I’m offended.”) But PETA is not easily discouraged; I have faith they can make this thing happen.

By the way, if anyone at PETA is reading this, I would like to volunteer for the job of harvesting Clooney’s sweat. It’s something I’ve dreamed about many times, so I mean, it’s sort of like I’m virtually experienced and I could be good at this line of work. I would even defer a salary, if that makes me a more desirable candidate. Read More