Be Cool. Get Square.
The Japanese, apparently bored with watermelon’s traditional shape, have gone and invented a square one. Using a pretty obvious technique (you grow ’em in square containers), they’ve created a charming cube-shaped melon that will set you back about $75. I know what you’re thinking: what idiot would pay that for a fruit? But the square melon does have its advantages. For one thing, t won’t roll around in the back seat of your car, like an oblong one does, escaping fom the grocery bag, crashing around, crushing the eggs and the strawberries in its path. (I admit that I have cursed out a few roller-melons.)
Also, the square melon will fit nicely in your fridge next to your rectangular milk carton and your wine-in-a-box. I’ve also found that he melon makes a nice footstool. And no other fruit stacks quite as well, should you be rich enough to purchase multiples. Also, several laid in a row make a unique retaining wall.
Not to be outdone by the Japanese, now the Chinese are going square. Supermarkets in Beijing have ordered 50,000 of these babies to have on hand for the Beijing Olympics.
Not to be outdone by the Chinese, the Japanese have started growing melons in a whole new and interesting shape. (Click here to check it out.) Not to be outdone by the Japanese or the Chinese, I’m going to go cut into that square and make myself a nice watermelon martini.

Tags: beijing olympics, heart-shaped watermelon, japan, square watermelon, watermelon martini