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Archive for the ‘Let Me (Not) Entertain You’ Category

The Tea Project: B’s Brown Bread

Wednesday, September 1st, 2010

The last time I had afternoon tea on a regular basis was when I shot a movie in London and the whole set came to a halt at precisely 4:00 p.m. so everyone could sit down, slurp tea, nibble cakes and discuss world affairs for twenty minutes. Then they’d leap to their feet again, all caffeinated and carbed,  and briskly continue with the task at hand.

Yesterday, I had a tea break with a friend which revived my enthusiasm for the custom. I’d consulted with my niece who lives in Ireland, where they are so much more with it than we are, tea-wise. Read More

 

Opening A Wine Bottle With Your Shoe

Thursday, July 8th, 2010

Check out this video to be instructed on genius method for opening a bottle of wine when you can’t locate a corkscrew or you are in a location far from your bar tools, or you’re simply so drunk that your small motor skills are impaired.You use your shoe.a

Caveat: I would strongly advise against using your 3-inch Manolos for this task.

Click here: Opening A Wine Bottle With A Shoe

Read More

 

Wicked Witch Martinis For Halloween

Tuesday, October 20th, 2009

Nowadays, my children are too old for trick-or-treating. They still obsess over their costumes, which have grown increasingly sexy over the years (you won’t see any teenage girl wearing a sheet). They gather for parties, driving themselves, no longer in need of parental participation in the Halloween rituals. My friends and I, although saddened that, for us, this fabulous holiday is no longer kid-centric, all do the adult thing: we make our own Halloween party  and drink martinis. I always dress in my (menopause-appropriate) witch costume. I dust off my black hat, put on some scary shoes and a bad attitude, and, bearing a broom as a hostess gift, I go off into the night, to my friend Lynn’s. Lynn decorates the bejeezus out of her house, and serves  Wicked Witch Martinis. Here’s how to make ’em: Read More

 

Cheese Ball

Monday, July 20th, 2009

The cheese ball is a food that goes back a couple of centuries. If you are interested in an incredibly amusing story of great historical interest regarding a mammoth cheese ball, click here. If you are not interested, fine, but your life will just that much less enriched. Think about it while you make this easy appetizer. Read More

 

Mint Iced Tea

Thursday, July 16th, 2009

I read about a study done recently in England in which people spoke to tomato plants. That is, a group of women spoke to ten plants and a group of men spoke to ten others. After some time, the plants addressed by women flourished, grew beyond expectations, while the men’s plants grew less than normal.

While the study suggests that the timbre of the voice is what’s influencing the tomatoes, I’m thinking maybe women are better at selecting tomato-friendly topics of conversation. For the life of me I don’t know what I’d say to a tomato, but I’m sure I’d skip subjects like the Lakers’ winning streak or the benefits of owning a ’65 Mustang. Call me biased, but I’m not sure a man would be so selective. Read More

 

Swine Flu Tequila Gimlet

Tuesday, May 5th, 2009

Now that the swine flu is, you know, just SO last week, we can reflect on some of interesting stories related to the panic.

Maybe the most jaw-dropping is the one about those 300,000.  Egyptian pigs who were lined up for slaughter even though there were no cases of the flu in that country, causing outrage in the global community of pig-huggers.

Maybe the most making-lemonade-out-of-Lemons story is the one about that marketing-savvy company that sought to sell advertising space on face masks. Read More

 

Holiday Crantini

Tuesday, November 25th, 2008

So, the turkey’s in the oven, you are making the stuffing, omitting the chestnuts to accommodate Cousin Larry and leaving the pecans out of the cranberry relish because your daughter won’t eat them and making the mashed potatoes with soy milk because a niece is lactose-intolerant and you’ve just burned the green beans while everyone else is out playing touch football. You’re getting a tad crabby. Read More

 

Election Jitters? Try An Obamimosa….

Sunday, November 2nd, 2008

I admit to being an Obamaniac, and now that we’re down to the wire, I’ve got the election day jitters. I find I’m seeking comfort: I can’t take the suspense one more. big fat minute.

Today I lined up one therapeutic activity after the next. First, I went to the Santa Monica flea market with my friend Cynthia. It rained, so many of the vendors did not show up. But I bought stuff anyway: a small, ugly shelf, some mismatched linen napkins, a jelly spoon. On that confessional line on the check where you explain why you bought all those useless items I wrote, retail therapy. Read More

 

Witchy Martinis For Halloween

Monday, October 13th, 2008

Nowadays, my children are too old for trick-or-treating. They still obsess over their costumes, which have grown increasingly sexy over the years (you won’t see any teenage girl wearing a sheet). They gather for parties, driving themselves, no longer in need of parental participation in the Halloween rituals.

My friends and I, although saddened that, for us, this fabulous holiday is no longer kid-centric, all do the adult thing: we make our own Halloween party  and drink martinis. I always dress in my (menopause-appropriate) witch costume. I dust off my black hat, put on some scary shoes and a bad attitude, and, bearing a broom as a hostess gift, I go off into the night, to my friend Linda’s.

Linda decorates the bejeezus out of her house, and serves a wicked Witch Martini. Here’s how to make it: Read More

 

Popcorn Balls and Toilet Paper

Saturday, October 11th, 2008

For those of you who are contemplating what you’ll be handing out to trick-or-treaters this year, I’d like to be the first to discourage you from going with popcorn balls.

When my siblings and I were young trick-or-treaters, we hated the people who handed out popcorn balls. I know these poor, well-meaning types spent all afternoon getting creative and actually hand-making these nasty corn-n-sugar chew toys, but their efforts were, shall we say, unappreciated. We felt strongly that Halloween treats should exclude anything that might benefit the body, like, say, corn fiber.

I would go so far as to say that the popcorn ball houses were the ones most likely to be TP-ed by the end of the evening. Read More

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