The Crabby Cook - by Jessica Harper

I think it was the cartoon character, Daffy Duck, who used to exclaim, “Suffering succotash!” whenever he was highly excited. He had a lisp, so it came out, “Thuffering thuccotash!” Since I was not introduced to succotash until adulthood, I spent my childhood unsure of what the heck Daffy meant by thuccotash.

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My book group is coming over, so I’ve gotta cook. Or…do I?

My older daughter is a college senior, living in an off-campus apartment with two guys. I just went to Providence to help her get installed and, while I was already happy that she was rooming with Ned and Adam, I am even happier now. Not only are they kind, gorgeous, and tidy, but Adam can cook. (That’s him in the pic, displaying his baking skills.) Read More

Just heard about this eco-friendly dishwashing soap, and my dishes are sparkling. But what I really like is that it works for BOTH dishwasher and sink. I’m thinking I might get my lazy-ass family to  actually wash the dishes. I will lure them with the novelty of this charming product, if they’re not too busy watching TiVo-ed episodes of Glee.

You can order this online, but be forewarned: they’ll only ship a minimum of four bottles, to offset the nasty eco-effects of transporting goods from there to here.  (God bless ‘em.) Or you can find it at Whole Foods.
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I went to the farmers’ market the other day and went basil crazy. I bought so much basil, the smell of it lingered in my car for two days (which was preferable to the smell of wet dog that usually dominates).

I often overbuy at the market, seduced by abundance. Then I go home and realize that I have set myself up for a lot of cooking, and irritation kicks in. But with the basil, this simply did not happen. I think it’s the way basil smells. It’s aromatherapy for crabby cooks; the perfume makes you actually willing to prepare food. Read More

Okay, yes, I’m on a roll with this afternoon tea thing. (You know this already if you read my last two posts, which if you did not read you are a slacker. Click here or here to catch up.) But let’s face it. It’s hotter than hell in L.A. right now, which precludes the enjoyment of hot tea at 4 o’clock (and gives us something to bitch about).

So, I was thinking I’d go with iced tea for now. But I had to invent a gentle one, caffeine-free, or else I’d be up all night (which would give me one MORE thing to bitch about). I came up with a chamomile version, a tea-lemonade hybrid, full of mint. It’s guaranteed to make you feel refreshed and stop bitching so much.
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You wake up, do the treadmill while watching the TiVo-ed Hot In Cincinnati, shower,  write for a couple hours, return fifteen emails, make a chicken sandwich, yell at the dog for eating half your sandwich, install a new bathroom fixture and congratulate yourself for doing so, purchase a head scratcher online, write six emails, yell at the dog for eating your sandal, go to the grocery store to return a furry cheese, and now it’s 4 p.m.. It’s time for a tea break.

I’ve become obsessed with the ritual of afternoon tea after a day of thrilling activity. If you read my last post, you will know that this is the second in a tea-themed series. (If you did not read my last post, you are a loser.) First, you got my Irish niece’s recipe for brown bread, and now she’s got me making Tea Bread, which is made with (as well as eaten with) tea. Read More

The last time I had afternoon tea on a regular basis was when I shot a movie in London and the whole set came to a halt at precisely 4:00 p.m. so everyone could sit down, slurp tea, nibble cakes and discuss world affairs for twenty minutes. Then they’d leap to their feet again, all caffeinated and carbed,  and briskly continue with the task at hand.

Yesterday, I had a tea break with a friend which revived my enthusiasm for the custom. I’d consulted with my niece who lives in Ireland, where they are so much more with it than we are, tea-wise. Read More